Virgo - April 2014 - Funny Horoscope

People under 3ft tall are always ill starred for Virgonians, but this month more so.

A moment of well-meaning extreme flippancy will lead to temporary, but painful, consequences for a circus dwarf with a feather in his hat. The dead-leg you inadvertently give him will subside before sunset if you keep him fed with tea and cookies. However, best not to make friends with him after the cock crows, as he harbors a resentment that only small people can truly pull off.

A planetary alignment could spell doom for any nighttime driving in the forest. Beware moose, buffalo, deer, depending on which country you drive in. Be especially on the alert for hunters looking for adventure in middle age.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19