Taurus - April 2014 - Funny Horoscope

Your attempts to take up extreme sports will receive another boost this month when, whilst walking out to your car, you will catch in your arms a large television set thrown out of an upstairs window. The adrenaline rush you get from the success of this catch will feature heavily in your after-dinner talk circuit, and possibly on Letterman, later in your catching career.

Yes, this month you will stumble over the next big thing - Catching Stuff. Prepare a detailed business plan and present this to your local bank - they will give you a very preferential loan - luckily for you, your bank manager is a skydiver under the influence of Venus.

Trouble is brewing down the Bowling Alley which ultimately will only be resolvable by a game of Tiddlywinks. Start your preparations now as this could climax in the next 6 months. Beware fellow bowlers whose clothing matches their Alley supplied bowling shoes.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19