Leo - April 2014 - Funny Horoscope

A well loved aunt who has an international police record as an anti-globalization protester, is set to make a welcome call this month. Avoid taking her to any McDonalds or Starbucks from which she has a globe-wide ban. If the old coot absentmindedly follows you in, she will be noisily arrested with surprising speed. Try to avoid getting into any security camera shots with her, preferring to wear large hats throughout the month. Practice an untraceable foreign accent for emergencies.

Sailing and diving are, once again, under the direct influence of Jupiter for most of the month (the planet is a keen water sports fan). However, from the 9th a negative conjunction with Saturn suggests problems with your knees. Ensure enough ointment is on hand especially if the cracking sound coming from your legs can be heard over the speedboat's engine...

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
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Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19