Gemini - April 2014 - Funny Horoscope

The Sun is expected to add spice into your life around the 4th when an unlikely career development presents itself in the form of what looks like a small furry animal. Accept this development with glee, although do not part with any of your savings until you have in your possession at least three of the pictures of your boss in the promised, incriminating, positions.

Ironically, your tongue is set for a poor month. Avoid licking envelopes after 15th and ice cream should be eaten with a spoon, not erotically, after the 10th.

In China they are about to name a new disease after you, following an extensive search on the internet for a new name. Just think: One day you could be as famous as AIDS. Employ a media management agency to investigate possible revenue streams. It looks like you will be forced to join Twitter by the 13th.

 

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