Aries - September 2013 - Funny Horoscope

You will attempt to serenade a loved one in the style of Frank Sinatra in his Rat Pack years this month. Ensure you learn all the words to either I get a kick out of you, The lady is a tramp and whatever they call that song that starts The pig goes oink, the cow goes moo and the bell goes ding-a-ling.

Nothing can prepare you for a nasty conjunction between Pluto and Neptune this month; avoid levitation on the 14th.

An acquaintance will jokingly imply something untoward on 30th. Punch them squarely on the nose with your right fist without warning making sure your feet are in the correct jabbing stance as set out in your horoscopes last month.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19