Capricorn - March 2013 - Funny Horoscope

Trust yourself as the arbiter in all potentially explosive negotiations, as Jupiter throws an invisible, unfeelable, protective, aura over your negotiating skills. (Jupiter is offering extra marks for riddles and short one-line jokes added surreptitiously into written contracts throughout the month.)

That farty-type noise you can make with a half empty plastic ketchup bottle is set to enhance your dining-out experience by more than 60% this month, especially when small children are involved. As long as you are prepared to take firm control of the situation before it gets completely out of hand, encourage small children to join in, especially if they are sitting at different tables and are unknown to you.

This month your destiny will be altered by a chance encounter with a goat farmer.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
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Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19