Cancer - March 2013 - Funny Horoscope

A funny smell will start your month uncomfortably. This is not due to a large Sulphur storm over Saturn's under crust as claimed by some, lesser, newspaper horoscopes. However, it is advisable to eat up all old cheeses you have been fermenting in the back of the fridge before the 19th of the month, especially those made from milk with an angry goat pictured on the carton.

Full Moons rarely have any effect on your resolute Cancer character, however the one on the 3rd could inspire you to scream and shout at the sky during dusk. Ensure throat lozenges, shaving equipment and strong industrial nail clippers are on hand throughout any were-wolfy periods.

Your destiny will suggest itself during a comedy routine involving a scantily clad woman, or man, and cows.

 

This feature is brought to you by theVoiceofReason.com

© theVoiceofReason.com 2000 onwards
 
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19