Pink and bright yellow cartoon characters will pepper your month in ways seemingly so fanciful to be ridiculous as you read this. Don't laugh! Have we ever let you down?

Embrace cartoon characters, including their merchandising, in all of their furry and fluffy big-footed glory, especially around the 9th, when Neptune gets smashed on the head from behind by Saturn wielding a big, oversized, bouncy hammer.

Welcome advice from afar this month, which may come in the form of a radio phone-in show, television talk show or an e-mail from someone you don't know from Nigeria.