Scorpio - February 2013 - Funny Horoscope

As a typical Scorpio you like to nip your prey to submission using your pointy claws. This month will be no exception, however continue to hold back even though an over officious local government representative is really asking for it.

A Mercurial eclipse around the 6th offers the prospects for a TV dinner to not go as planned, especially if an elderly microwave oven is involved. Ensure kitchen wipes and cushions are on hand throughout the period of danger, or at least until the smoke detector goes off.

Nuts and raisins will provide moments of hilarity when they appear unexpectedly in a salad after the 17th.

 

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Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19