Aries - January 2013 - Funny Horoscope

A New Year, a new you? Give it a go if you feel like it but Saturn has already made up its mind for more than 97% of Aries this month. Regular readers might have noticed the New Year resolution hidden in that sentence - yes, Saturn always demanded control of 100% of Aries, before. Things might be looking up if you fancy taking a naked shower in someone else's home again soon if the planet keeps this up...

Tree nuts are well starred after a cookery programme showed how to eat them properly last month: Big twisty husks, nuts that make you go 'oooh' when you taste them and nuts shaped like politician's faces are all well starred.

Favour a quick left to right wobble on your new tablet computer to flick that photo quickly to some side or the other.


This feature is brought to you by

© 2000 onwards
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19