Cancer - December 2012 - Funny Horoscope

The danger of keeping the price tag on an item of clothing you are wearing is at a years high, which is a pity because you thought buying stuff from Ebay with tags on was a good thing. This is the first of what you perceive to be many internet retailing niggles about to come to light this month and into the next.

Favor strawberries, cherries and oranges equally in any spur of the moment fruit machine choices or any impromptu fruit salad decisions.

As luck would have it, just as your leg gets out of plaster, your clowing abilities plummet to new lows. Avoid throwing custard pies in all of their forms until well into the New Year and only then when you have arranged your custard pie throwing room into a Dexter killing room style level of splatter protection.

Seasonal Decorating Tip Of The Month: decorate in hast, repent when too drunk to do anything about it.


This feature is brought to you by

© 2000 onwards
Other Horoscopes for this month
Mar 20 - Apr 19
Apr 20 - May 19
May 20 - Jun 20
Jun 21 - Jul 21
Jul 22 - Aug 22
Aug 23 - Sept 21
Sept 22 - Oct 22
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Nov 22 - Dec 21
Dec 22 - Jan 19
Jan 20 - Feb 17
Feb 18 - Mar 19