Uncomfortable pauses in conversations are set to pepper this month in strangely uplifting ways, especially with very devout religious types (assuming you can get a word in edgewise).

Counterintuitive, counter clockwise and the counters in coffee bars are particularly well starred, especially when drinking lattes and dunking European biscuits.

Saturn has a plan for the 17th of the month that includes a cereal packet, a stick of glue, and either a Batman mask or the plastic outer casing of a smoke detector. Don't look at this page like that, we are only the messenger.

This month your destiny is in a field with around 90 under milked cows bursting to please the milk maid.