The outer shells of pistachio nuts are set to prove an insurmountable problem this month if Mars and Venus get their way.

An interplanetary battle is raging which will affect piles of pistachio nut shells around the globe from 10th well into dusk on the 28th for all Capricorns.

Beware tripping over unlit pistachio piles, pistachio piles which appear all of a sudden as you walk along the street, and in your bath when bathing.

This month your destiny wears the bicycle safety helmet of a 9 year old.