10 | For
those significantly lighter than you try The Double Ankle Throw From Behind.
Method: Grab hold of the person with the gift you want to buy by the ankles, then
pull upwards hard from behind. They will fall forwards letting go of the gift
they are clutching - which will fly through the air backwards into your arms.
|
9 | The
Rear Naked Choke (not to be confused with The Naked Rear Choke which
should only be attempted in the privacy of your own home). Don't
worry, you don't have to be naked to do this hold! What the naked bit
means is that you grab the shopper by the neck from behind: as they don't have
time to defend themselves the hold is 'naked'. Proceed to choke until submission,
knockout, or shop closing time. |
8 | The
Flying Grapevine Over The Top Rope. Run as hard as you can into the shopper
with the gift you want, tackle them with your arms outstretched hoping to smash
them to the floor. Grab the gift they are holding, and run. |
7 | The
Stamp Out. The person with the gift you want has to be laying prostrate on
the ground in this popular professional wrestling move. (Best if your shopping
opponent is trying out a bed, or doing some motor mechanics on their back.) Method:
Stamp down hard with your foot until they submit. |
6 | The
Flying Belly Squash. Only really advisable if you are very very big, and the
person you are attacking isn't. As the name of the move implies, run with all
of your weight focused in your belly, throw yourself through the air at your opponent
and refuse to get off until they submit. |
5 | The
Flying Wedgie From The Front. A difficult move to master, as one slip can
make you look like you are trying to grab the shopper by the privates, but, once
you are confident, grab and then pull the undergarments hard from the front until
submission, or screaming like a little girl. |
4 | The
Forearm Smash And Grab. One for shoppers who want a quick in-and-out shopping-
wrestling strategy. Avoid being grabbed by the shirt and you can be away before
your opponent even hits the deck. (Ever wondered why wrestlers just wrestle in
trunks and boots? - Your questions will be answered when you try this move and
your shopping opponent grabs your shirt before they fall and you have run away.) |
3 | The
sucker punch and gift grab. One for experienced street muggers here. It also
helps if you have very long arms, and the gift you are grabbing is small. |
2 | The
Nose Lock And Squelch. Most old people quickly let go of what they are holding
when you apply a hard push and twist to their nose. Make sure the ref (or store
security) don't see it or you could be disqualified!!! |
1 | The
Chicken Wing Arm Twist. Even a small child can apply this hold (perhaps really
small children should be given a bit of a help to begin with) push the arm up
the opponent's back until it breaks or submission occurs. |
