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1st October 2014

Video Of The Day (from the top 100 charts)

Horoscopes, October 2014

A bad nights sleep will bring rewards that initially may appear to you in the form of sweating, loss of breath, a bad headache, heart palpitations, or chest pains. Whatever you do do not phone for medical assistance, it's just the planets trying to make contact with you. [More]

Your once profitable Wall Street brokerage firm has been saved by the generous handouts from taxpayers after the financial crisis. Mercury and Saturn's influence over Congress can be applauded, but beware that Mars is about to help cut off this funding. Prepare to take to the hills at short notice. [More]

Flipping a small chocolate off your nose and then catching it in your mouth and eating it is about to set you in the good graces of a young child, or possibly a new career in the circus. [More]

A tall man with thick glasses, wearing a stained raincoat, with a whiny voice and hair on the back of his hands, is about to enter into your reality around sunset of the 16th. Welcome him / don't welcome him into your life it's up to you, but Jupiter quite likes the cut of his jib. [More]

A sauna is not really the place to discover what Saturn has in store for you this month, so make sure that the towel is wrapped around your waist as tightly as possible...[More]

Halitosis and the more general 'hot food mouth pong', are set to indicate to you who your real friends are this month. The planets favour choosing those who like chilli and red peppers, and would prefer that you avoid garlic eaters at least while the current international financial uncertainties persist. [More]

This month there could be unexpectedly excitingly glamorous consequences to an error in an e-mail or memo you send, particularly around the 7th. The error may ultimately lead to a brief meeting with a rock legend or an A lister who employs an absent minded personal assistant. [More]

A small squeaky-sqwarky pet is trying to tell you something. Re watch the Lassie films if you are unsure how to communicate with animals.[More]

This month your destiny is like a fairy tale wolf with lots of puff but without any house to blow down. [More]

You will finally get the opportunity to discover who would actually win in a race between a tortoise and a hare this month after Pluto is caught off guard. [More]

Pouty lips are set to inspire you into action at times this month in ways too numerous to list - beware shocking adverts, especially on posters or billboards, until after the 18th. [More]

Farm animals are set to provide you with considerable joy, especially cows and pigs. [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Benedict Cumberpatch Can't Say Penguins

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Homer Simpson Eat-i-likie

"Mmmh Chicken Wings." [ More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
TV Reporter Quits On Air with F-Bomb

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Gamer

"I can't wait for the first news program to use the f-word in a real political interview. This is a great first step. Kudos." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Car Crash

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Gamer

"This GTA footage is getting better and better. It looks almost totally realistic." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Nate's Firepole Fail

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Optimist

"Fly little boy fly!" [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Frozen - Naughty Version

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Movie Trailer Voice Over Wannabe

"In a world where Disney meets The Sopranos..." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
London Cyclist Stopped By Police

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Extreme Stunt Ideas Man

"Does anyone know what happens when someone tasers a cyclist while still riding the bike? Maybe a suggestion for the next Bond film?" [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Did Barbie Just Swear?

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Cattle Rustler

"What the fook?" [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Bat Attack

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Movie Goer

"Does anyone else get an Omen type vibe from this? He should probably expect at least a choking incident in the next 5 days." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Learned How To Get Through The Door

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Irish Dance Critic

"That's the closest I've ever seen a dog get to doing the Riverdance. Half a Kudos." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Duck Tales Theme With Real Ducks

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, New Vegetarian

"I will never be able to eat crispy duck pancakes again." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Sloth Drops The Bass

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Animal Critic

""Get a job slacker."" [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
iPhone 6 (Spoof)

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Geek Wannabe

"I want to be able to jump on my iPhone without it breaking. Is that really too much to ask?." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
Run Walter Run

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Secret Shopper

"Kudos for thinking ahead and buying a waterproof camera." [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
People Eat Animal Testicles

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Fridge Lifter

"Maybe I'm old fashioned but I would need phallic shaped vegetables with my testicles." [More]

Horoscopes, September 2014

Philosophy: Beware the floating bubble of the angry fish, especially if you haven't seen where the bubble has come from... [More]

A truffle sniffing French pig will make itself known to you this month using the medium of mud on the carpet. [More]

A person wearing black socks will provide comfort in a moment of watery anxiety. [More]

Moist face towels will be in short supply around the 17th due to reasons that will become apparent on the 12th. [More]

Check that the electricity company hasn't wired up a street light to your house supply by switching off your supply and watching whether street lights go on or off at least twice this month. (Remember that they might have wired up a street light not in immediate sight of your house.)[More]

This month you will be entertained by a 'murder most foul' classic crime mystery. This will take the form of, either, a dinner murder mystery weekend, a compulsive television drama, or a dead body found under your stairs. [More]

Hallucinogenic drugs and smoked fish are this month's surprising bed fellows. [More]

Leftovers from a chicken meal will cause one of the most bizarre arguments in your life this month, and may only be resolvable using professional arbitrators. [More]

Your boating based contingency plans will go awry spectacularly on the 15th. [More]

A rare Jupertian undercurrent signifies a creative month for all Scorpios who enjoy the arts, literature and fast food in all of its forms. [More]

You will be drawn into a physically stressful argument over a small mammal with a child or young teen around the 9th. Ensure a supply of fruit is on hand to console any small mammal which may overhear your hurtful, mammalist, prejudices. [More]

A new baby, or a wild animal that likes nothing better than to scream at the top of its high, screechy, range, is about to enter your life in the most unexpected of ways. Stock up on baby food and dried animal pellets, always favoring products with banana or papaya in them. [More]

Video Of The Day - We Have Our Say:
2 Year Old Ice Bucket Challenge

Angry Man
Jessie Krufts, Interior Decorator

""I love the way that she blames the chair." [More]

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