Angst,
Ambush and Armageddon will make an appearance but only in a crossword, a word search puzzle,
or news item not affecting you. [More]
Aries
A
stunt involving a tea bag or still-warm coffee grounds will have the opposite
effect intended at breakfast on the 12th. Consult stain removal texts only
from fellow Ariesians with urgency. [More]
Cancer
What
at first appears to be a simple run of the mill planetary conjunction between Jupiter and
Mars around 6:30pm on the 9th, is
about to be anything but, and will have a profound effect on your tongue and taste buds. Try to avoid dining out because everything is about to start tasting like peaches. You may think you are having a stroke!!! Don't worry!!! It's only the planets!!! [More]
Capricorn
An exotic dancer is about to base his/her latest performance on you in a new striptease routine this month. [More]
Gemini
Embrace
creative anger in all of its reddy-orangy spectrum colours this month to bring artistic explosions into your life,
especially in interior decorating type situations and barbeques. [More]
Leo
You
have been wary of full moons since watching a black and white Boris Karlof werewolf movie as a youngster.
This month your worst fears will either be alleviated forever, or confirmed in
the most harrowing of colourfully fur-and-giblet-filled incidents. [More]
Libra
Nothing much will happen for most of this month, a refreshing change from the Junes of the past five years. Take time to appreciate how busy the television channels have been putting on all that programming you love. [More]
Pisces
Long, barefooted, walks along the beach are well starred, with only a 4% chance of a crab nipping at your toes. [More]
Sagittarius
It
is a well known fact that bad luck is the same as good luck, but in reverse. Use this knowledge to your advantage by turning your t-shirt inside out. [More]
Scorpio
Pluto
and Mercury will fight to control your mood swings this month in a Walt-Disney-short-cartoon-of-the-early-1940's
type way. It looks likely that Mercury will win in the end after jamming a large spanner
down Pluto's throat. [More]
Taurus
Mechanical
problems are set to pepper this month with dangers, especially bicycles, but
also industrial machines with limb ripping-off potential if the safety guard is missing or wonky. [More]
Virgo
Mercury's
left-to-right movement in your celestial charts are set for a quick reversal this
month. A bit like a moon walk, but involving planets. Sharp
movements in the planets like this are rare and can be quite devastating for those
involved. Luckily for you all it means is that the kettle will take 15 seconds longer to boil. [More]
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